Gracie: "Dad we know that you let Bobo and I sleep in the bed with you and Mom. Trust us we really appreciate it. But seriously, what gives with the Queen Size Bed?"
"Don't give me that look Dad."
Dad: "What Look?"
Gracie: "The one like I know that you know what I know and you know what is coming next."
Dad: "No look, what are you talking about?"
Gracie: "Let me finish"
"Seriously Dad, Bobo and I have so little room in the bed that half the time we end up laying between your legs or making a sandwich out of Mom only to have you get upset and make us get down. It's not like we are trying to make you upset, but we simply have no room. We are after all, as you know, 210 pounds of dog, with two heads, slobbering tongues, four ears, eight legs, and two wiggling butts. We really need more room."
Gracie: "So in order to bring back the cohesiveness and comfort at bedtime, Bobo and I have decided that effective immediately, you are going to have to sleep on the couch."
Dad: "YOU AND BOBO DECIDED!!"
Gracie: "Don't yell Dad, let me finish!"
Dad: "Where is Bobo in all of this? Why isn't he here talking about this too?
Gracie: "He's hiding in the bath tub."
Dad: "Uh Huh! That Figures."
"Don't walk away Dad hold on there mister."
"I know you are wondering why you and not Mom?"
Dad: "Okay why me?"
Gracie: "Well that is easy. Mom gives us treats in bed and belly rubs. Plus she doesn't mind if we drool a little and leave crumbs in the bed. Also you told Mom a long time ago no crackers in bed, so we made the decision to keep her and not you."
"Don't be the Drama King Dad"
"Yes Dad of course we still love you, and we want to be your dogs, but Mom smells better, is smaller than you and much softer too."
(Dad turns to leave mumbling incoherently)
Gracie: "Dad wait where are you going? Don't leave! What did you say Dad?"
Dad: "Going to "Sit N Sleep for a bigger bed."
(Gracie turns her attention to Mom who was eavesdropping on the conversation from around the corner of the hall)
Gracie: "We did it Mom."
Mom: "Great job Gracie Girl! I love it when a plan comes together. New bed is coming! Woo Hoo a new bed a new bed!"